I’m pretty distraught right now. My girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend, went out with another guy this weekend and it broke my heart. I treated her so well, but maybe I should just be a jerk. I don’t know what to do to get over her. Any advice?
Dear Heartbroken Hermonite,
Let’s just get this out the way right now: heartbreak sucks, and no matter your age, it never gets easier! That may be a pretty negative way of looking at it, but fret not. It doesn’t get easier, but you get stronger and develop better and healthier coping mechanisms to deal with this and future heartbreak. In my twenty-something years, I must admit I’ve had a number of heartbreaks, but I’ve gotten through them with the following steps:
Step One: Grieve. It’s okay to cry, to punch a bag, or stuff your face with cookie dough (maybe that’s just me). Whatever you need to do that won’t harm you or anyone else, do it! Sometimes you need to let go of all of the hurt and pain you’re feeling before you can move on. As you’re grieving, don’t allow this hiccup to make you cynical. Don’t allow it to change you for the worst, but instead let it help you grow. In fact, remember to…
Step Two: Focus. Don’t be afraid to use this time to develop relationships with your friends, your family, your faith, and most importantly, yourself! Use this time to (re)discover who you are. Figure out what you enjoy, what you like, and what you don’t like. What makes you happy? Find it and do it. Don’t be afraid of your singleness, relish in it. And finally,
Step Three: Trust. Trust that everything happens for a reason, and if someone hurts you or breaks your heart, it’s their loss. I firmly believe there’s at least one person out there for everyone, and as cliché as this sounds, there are plenty of fish in the sea! Trust and believe that the person you’re destined to be with is out there waiting for you, and you’ll recognize her when she comes along.
When mending from heartbreak, it’s important not to rush through these steps. Some might say the best way to get over someone is to, well…you know, but the fact of the matter is that’s just a temporary fix. Kermit Says… isn’t in the business of temporary fixes, but permanent solutions to help you become a better, happier you. Keep me posted on this journey, and remember to just keep hopping along!